The green liquid

por: Joe Leon

The story begins with a brain in a vat.

It’s alive.

It’s a she, and she’s the wife of Nestor Neon.

“My husband is the most trusted auto mechanic in our community. He’s also a pro-wrestler and a political activist. He has the most viewed youtube video ever and his blog Post-Pop Mechanics has the most shared content in Facebook accounts and frequently consulted by both the Onion Press and Fox News whenever they want street cred.”

How his wife is still alive, no one knows the mechanics. But Nestor Neon knows. You could say that everything he has accomplished, everything he is, has happened because he won’t let her go away.

“My love for her transcends form and function. It’s not even an idea, man. It’s like an invisible gasket in my soul, I’m pretty sure you’ll never understand.”

His thought alone was twitted 151 times by completely different kinds of people(young, old, sick, unemployed, celebrities, etc.) all across the Western World and by 87 Arabic and Orientals with access to the internet either through high ranking permits or piracy.

And by 5 Africans.

Nestor Neon is a success story any way you want to look at it, that is of course as long as you don’t look at it with a pre-9/11 mindset. In that case, he’s nothing but a guy with too much time in his hands.

“He’s a genius for the 21st Century, he’s got as many ideas as he’s got digital grooves in his fingers and they’re all free, public domain, man. He’s like a prophet. He doesn’t believe in copyrights, in thrifting, trading, nothing, you just take it! And his ideas don’t stop no matter how many people take them…he’s like bleeding Space Ages from his wrists 24/7…”

That last thought from a hardcore Neonite who wanted to spread the thought, but it was only shared and liked by 43 accounts, 29 of which were created by himself.

“I’m not looking for a following,” Nestor Neon replied to allegations that he has a hipster agenda(more like brainster). “Or naysayers either. And I’m not going for paradoxical cult of personality. I’m out here trying to figure out how I keep my wife alive every single day. My heart is so scared I think its paralyzed, skipping every beat, in morbid anticipation for the most dreadful of days…the day I lose her. I don’t really know what I’ll do then. She’s the only person that consoles me about the greatest tragedies in civilizations, about the human condition and about the disappointments in modern cinema. So who will console me, or what, when she goes away?”

To think that such a personal and specific question has occupied some of the greater debates in social networks the world over is to think of the impossibly real. Freud’s Uncanny coded and programmed into the electronic public concern. The question is nowadays as popular/important as Schrodinger’s Cat, in fact, just now Quantum Society has been created! So stop talking about falsified identity or simulated morale in the account user culture, because whatever people decide to be known as is as real as their birth certificate. If I want to be r0x0r3:16…that’ll be a name more real than my carpal tunnel-afflicted hands(but it wouldn’t really be, because it’s a name that’s so early 2000′s…)

So what’s the name of the brain in the vat?

What’s Nestor Neon’s wife’s name?

“She used to have a real name, but I changed it. It’s Mathilda. It’s what she was meant to be. She agrees, look at how the life-sustaining liquid the brain is floating in turns green. It’s a positive color, so she agrees, she always has. Our favorite movie is The Professional, such a cool movie about a killer who takes care of this little girl. Mathilda.”

Nestor Neon cares about his wife. That’s why she’s still alive and she’s a marvel in our marvel-less world. They’ve always talked about the rising of the trans-human through the post-human, and there seemed to be signs of this new era dawning by the advent of the cloned sheep and the knock out mice, but all of this turned into one big ugly joke in the back pages of Wired magazine. But with Mathilda, her struggle to survive, each and every bubble that pops when they meet her gray matter, our outdated humanity’s hopes is getting jumpstarted into a whole new ride…

…into a future in which we need not die, just download our consciousness into the net, or be stored alive in a work of art representing transgressional realism, or simply cloned ad nauseum into bodies of our favorite years(just a few ones after being teenagers, right before college…).

“There’s no real answer to the future, I’m actually keeping a question alive because I just don’t like the answer. You think a man like me believes in the future? You’re mistaken. I’ll do everything to stop the atrocity of life to run its course. I’ve taken its power to be dictated by nature’s random whims and have put it at the mercy of my hands, because I am merciful. More than anything anyone has ever believed in, I am the most merciful. Because I am the only one who has ever been able to give mercy a form and a function…and some batteries. And I’ve also made it wireless and gave it a firewall just in case. Look at her, she is more beautiful than an iPad or an iPhone!”

“iMathilda,” said her electronic voice. “iLove myNestor…”

“There’s no amount of Steve Jobs or Bill Gates that could ever surpass my technological passion! This is Frankenstein with a happy ending, because I never went mad! I was able to achieve something beautiful through the marriage of love and reason!”

This wonderful love story lasted for one week. Literally. Everything we have covered so far: just one week. Because the next week, Mathilda’s live content was pirated through illegal streaming with a special crack code made available on piratebay.

“I have her heart, her lungs and her stomach, and I have 50 terabytes of sequences of her thought patterns and feeling simulations…I don’t care what people take away from me, I will always have enough of my Mathilda to keep her alive, because it isn’t technology what keeps her kicking…it’s my smarts, and they will never take that away from me! It’s right in my brain!”

Ironic, right? I guess you know how it ends, smartass…

The end.

Imagen por Joe León de la serie FalsisMODA Art.

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